Would you mind being called a “pig” or a “buffalo”? I assume that you would not appreciate that. But lots of people in Thailand are called just that and some other names that appear very strange to us. Thais have first and last names like we do, but they are often four or five syllables long and, at least for us, impossible to pronounce, what to speak of remember.

This was not always the case. In earlier times names in Thailand used to be shorter and easier. Recently it has become fashionable to take on those monstrosities of names. The Thais actually had to come up with a law that limits the amount of syllables that a name can have. This prevented official business transactions from drowning in syllable quicksand. Thai law makes if fairly simple to change your name. Don’t like it, no problem, pick another one. It is a fairly simple process.

In Thailand you might plead “please, anything but your real name!” Nicknames to the rescue! Fortunately most Thais have one. They are refreshingly short, generally only one syllable and sometimes just a single letter. Often the Thais use one of the syllables of their legal name as their nickname – it does not matter which one. Some nicknames appear quite strange to us. There could be Ms Pig, Mr. Buffalo, Mr. Dog, or Ms Bomb. How do they get names like that? I will tell you the real stories of several of my Thai friends.

Some nicknames are highly descriptive. How about a girl whose name is “pig”? In western countries that would be very demeaning, but she was given that name since her baby fat reminded her adoring parents of a piglet. Thais believe that this is a rather cute name. If one day the girl does not find her nickname appealing anymore, she will be able to change it at any time. Another acquaintance of mine is called “dog”. As a small kid he was constantly peppering everyone with questions and interrupting conversations. His parents found that he resembled an excited puppy, so “dog” it was for him.

Thai nicknames may also be chosen for special powers. There is the story of a sickly boy who always had one health issue or another. So the folks in his village decided to call him buffalo, which is a strong animal. There is even a saying ’strong as a buffalo’. In his case it worked, the constant illnesses vanished and he lived up to his name. But before you start calling people “buffalo”, be aware that this is also used as an insulting word. Buffaloes are regarded as stupid and low brained. Unless there is a special context, calling people “buffalo” will get you into trouble very quickly.

Nicknames can be literally colorful. One of my friend’s nickname is “Green”. She ended up with this name since as a baby she supposedly had a greenish complexion, and this became her name. Today, 40 years later, she looks anything but green, however she still goes by the same name.

In many cultures dreams are taken seriously.  Here is the story of a predictive dream of a Thai friend of mine. She was visiting a temple, and her sister in law who accompanied her was offered a beautiful stone by one of the monks. However she turned the gift down and asked the monk to let her friend have it instead. She took it happily. When she woke up, she soon found out that she was pregnant. So she named the baby girl “Ploy”, the Thai name for ‘precious stone’. The gift of the stone symbolized that she was going to receive something beautiful, and the pregnancy confirmed that.

There are also some truly creative nicknames. The son of one of my friends happened to be born during the war between Iran and Iraq. The Thai news agencies published regular stories about all the shooting and bombing. In the absence of a better idea she ended up calling her son “bomb”.

There are nicknames which are totally meaningless. Many are just single letters like O, or E, or B. One-syllable western names like ‘Cat’ or ‘Joy’ are all the rage nowadays.

Some Thais use their legal first names, but the majority have nicknames. In most informal situations Thais will only use their nicknames for introductions. You might find some of those nicknames strange, but they save us from having to repeat or remember those monstrosities of legal names which are so fashionable in Thailand.